Sheltered?

Recently I have been doing research on what motivates people, especially my generation, to act when they are shown the awful things that happen in this world and the negative effects of the way we treat others and the planet. I am extremely frustrated with the apathy, and what I found in research did not make me feel better.

Media has it positives and negatives. One of these negatives is that as kids grow up in these social network, internet worlds they also apply it to their lives. In order for them to get involved the advertising has to be enticing with bright colors and uniqueness, and what is being advertised must be entertaining (Aaker 2010). Maybe that is why sex sell so well, because it is the most enticing thing to sexual beings like humans and I think it is safe to say there is nothing more entertaining than sex, in the right context of course.

Regardless, I do not understand this mentality. I have watched peoples faces as I tell them about human trafficking in America and I can see all the emotions I experienced when I first learned about it, but then nothing happens. For me, the anger, horror, and desire to see justice did not wear off. I have not been able to figure it out. What makes me different? If people admire me for my passion, why don't they strive for it as well? I had a discussion with a friend about this and she brought up the idea of desensitization. Since then I have been processing it and just like people get good idea's in the shower, I come up with cool idea's at 1:00AM.

I think this is what makes me different. I grew up in a christian home, which really means nothing. But in my home I was sheltered from the media in all of it's glory. I was not allowed to watch sexual or violent programs. At the time, it was very annoying and a bubble burster to one developing independence, but I am so grateful. I believe, because I was sheltered from those things, whenever I hear or see something violent it changes me forever. Whereas those who grow up seeing it all the time, it's no big deal and just a part of life. It gets brushed aside like a scraped knee. It's not a scraped knee! Someones arm has just fallen off and they are bleeding all over society and you just toss them a band aid as you walk by. I am sorry, but that ticks me off to no end.

I will get off of my soap box on how frustrated I am with humanity right now. Instead I would like to thank my parents for putting up with my attitude when they told me I could not watch things all of my friends were, for punishing me when I did, and for standing their ground in a culture that accepts just about anything. Because of that I have a sensitive spirit tied directly to my morals which controls the steering wheel of my heart. Because my parents "sheltered" me, I have a higher value for the gift of life and empathy for others. Mom, Dad, thank you for guarding my heart and giving me the opportunity to experience passion like I do for justice.

Aaker, Jennifer. & Smith, Andy. (2010). The Dragonfly Effect: Quick, Effective, and Powerful Ways To Use Social Media to Drive Social Change.

Inside Every Pimp's 'Hoe'

I have been reading about pimp’s lately and this issue of their ‘hoes’ choosing that lifestyle baffles me. Who in their right mind would want to have sex dozens of times a day for a profit they rarely ever see? The thing is, they aren’t in a healthy mind set. Pimps will even tell you that hoe’s have all be abused; raped, beaten by men, unloved and left by their fathers and/or boyfriends. To understand what that does to a woman you first must understand the needs of a girl.

Beyond basic needs, I believe every child needs stability, love, and the presence and involvement of their parents. Little girls though need to be delighted in. Why else do you think little girls are attracted to bright colors, sparkles, and anything that will make them stand out? They want to be noticed. They want to be lovely and beautiful. Little girls spin and twirl for their daddies, looking in anticipation for a response of adoration, love, and delight. I don’t believe this ever changes at any point in a woman’s life.

What happens when little girls don’t receive the reaction they crave from their fathers, and boyfriends later on, they can’t help but wonder ‘there must be something wrong with me.’ Right there is where the source of the loss of confidence and value for ourselves start. Unless she meets a man who can give her what she needs, out of love, not selfishness.

The girls that grow up without their needs being met, or having an event occur that compromises it, like rape, require more love than those who had their emotional needs met. They have been starved, and just like anyone who is starved, they require special care. Pimps know that. They know that these girls crave attention, love, and care. Women with these kinds of needs are so desperate for it, they will latch onto someone who they think will give it to them. That’s why pimps give them what they need because they know if they give them a little, they will get a lot from her loyalty to him. I once interviewed and ex club owner/pimp who said, “You give them the world, then take it away” when asked how he got girls to work for him. He could go to a restaurant and just from being around a girl for a few hours he could tell what her needs were, leave her with a proposition, and within a week she would be working for him. You cannot tell me that she isn’t desperate for love, attention, adoration, and needing to be delighted in. She is so hurt, but she still somehow has enough hope to search for what she needs. Unfortunately many of these women try to quench their thirst in the arms of a pimp. She doesn’t choose to be a pimp’s bitch, she thinks she is choosing for all her emotional needs to be met. Imagine the relief and the joy she must feel. She is so hungry that the little she gets from a pimp, very little, and the competition with the other girls to get his attention is what drives her. The girls don’t do it for the sex, they do it for the 5 minutes of attention they may get every so often from a pimp who is proud of her because of the profit she has brought in.  

I know that these girls don’t want to do this, we are not designed for that. Pimps know that their girls don’t enjoy the sex at all, they are there for his attention, ‘love,’ and are fighting to be delighted in.

Where is God?

I think everyone eventually asks this theological question when in the face of injustice. We believe He is a just God, a God of love, but then something horrific happens to you or someone you know. Suddenly that picture of Him riding on a white horse with Justice at His hand, becomes very fuzzy.

My mission in life is to stop human trafficking in America. I have been on this mission for two years, and it drives my life. I finally came to this point of "God, where are you in this?" about three weeks ago. (I find it strange that I have never asked this before)

Three weeks ago, I got the news from a mutual friend that is buddy's sister and her friend were kidnapped while on a missions trip to Somalia. Knowing what I know about the sex trade, my heart instantly shattered and I pleaded their case before my Father for the next 2 hours. I am still grieving and I think about them every single day. It was in this time of prayer and pleading for their rescue that I just asked Him, "where are you in this?"

I reached out to some trusted people to get their take, because I had no answer. I was not angry, but I was worried that I couldn't come up with anything, knowing that surely one day someone is going to ask me this very thing.  I did finally come to a realization a few days later, and this is how I personally feel about it.

Human Trafficking is a consequence. It is a consequence of our sex society and the many sexual messages we get bombarded with every few minutes. We market on it, we are obsessed with it. And because men are visually stimulated, this effects them far more than women. It is right here were the demand starts and the consequences begin.

Deeper than that, is simply the consequence of sin. When Eve and Adam ate the forbidden fruit, the earth became Satan's stomping ground, and that is exactly what he does. He stomps on and squashes people. That is why there is so much evil in the world. It is Satan, not God. It is not an issue of "why does God allow this?" but rather an issue of owning up to what happened and accepting it. God sees everything that goes on, and I know that he cries every time one of His babies is raped. I know he hurts with us. Yet, that question still remains "why?" It does not happen because God will's it, wants to test us, or wants us to suffer for any wrongs we have done. Yet we buy into that not realizing it is the devil whispering that into our ear. It is the devils will, "he is like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.(1 Peter 5:8)" This is how God counteracts that by working all things for our good (Romans 8:28). He blesses us for enduring, and turns the bad into good. There are things that have happened to me and I would never change them as awful as it was because I would not be the person I am today with the same capabilities and gifts.

But where is the justice? God is a just God and all this injustice is happening?!! He is a just God, but He is a gracious God first.

If God were a just God first, we would all be bound to hell when we died because that would mean anything we ever did would not be forgiven and punished. We would all be living in suffering if God was only a just God. Instead he shows us grace, compassion, love, and understanding first. It is in those things we find his forgiveness, restoration, and vision. God does not rank sins like we do in our court systems when someone goes to trial for a crime. Lying is the same as murder. It is hard to have understanding for them, but those who do the most terrible things to people deserve Christ's grace just as we do. We are no better than them.

God is there, and He loves you. I so look forward to leaving this hell run earth to a perfect home with my loving Father. But until then, I am so thankful that I have his light in this dark world to give me hope knowing that something can be done, and he does care greatly. But he is not responsible for the evil on this planet and what his son's and daughters choose to do with their free will.

Teen Pregnancy

In case you haven't noticed. High school pregnancies are out of control. At my high school of 400, there were 17 girls pregnant in my junior year. Each of these pregnancies were celebrated, and I don't understand why.

"Congratulations!" "Oh you will be such a good mommy." "What will you name him/her" "Let's throw her a surprise shower!!" and on and on...

It makes me sad. That's really not the word I would like to use, but my spirit feels broken. It's not ok, and it should not be celebrated. I don't think we should condemn them, not at all. But I don't believe we should treat them the same way we treat a married couple who is actually trying to start a family.

I am proud of them for keeping their unplanned children, they are so brave. But I don't believe most should keep them, instead they should put them up for adoption. Most teen mothers don't even really take care of their babies, their parents do and I think that is so wrong.

The cause of all this, I believe, can be attributed to one show. It amazes me that one 30 minute show can change a generation. 30 minutes. That's half the time of one of my college classes. That's less than the typical school assembly time. I really don't think anyone can ever give the excuse that they don't have time to make and impact on someone. I wonder what would happen if every teacher, presenter, and public speaker implemented the shows tactic's, how different this generation would be and how well educated they would be.

Don't Stop Believing

One of the greatest powers lies within each of us. It starts in our minds and resides in our hearts, we live it. This is what gives us some of our most well known stories of inspiration, and destruction. Belief. What you believe directly influences your behaviors. Here's an example:

Numbers 13 (NLT)

Twelve Scouts Explore Canaan

¹ The Lord now said to Moses, ² “Send out men to explore the land of Canaan, the land I am giving to the Israelites. Send one leader from each of the twelve ancestral tribes.” ³ So Moses did as the Lord commanded him. He sent out twelve men, all tribal leaders of Israel, from their camp in the wilderness of Paran. ⁴ These were the tribes and the names of their leaders:

Tribe — Leader
Reuben — Shammua son of Zaccur
⁵ Simeon — Shaphat son of Hori
⁶ Judah — Caleb son of Jephunneh
⁷ Issachar — Igal son of Joseph
⁸ Ephraim — Hoshea (Joshua) son of Nun
⁹ Benjamin — Palti son of Raphu
¹⁰ Zebulun — Gaddiel son of Sodi
¹¹ Manasseh son of Joseph — Gaddi son of Susi
¹² Dan — Ammiel son of Gemalli
¹³ Asher — Sethur son of Michael
¹⁴ Naphtali — Nahbi son of Vophsi
¹⁵ Gad — Geuel son of Maki
¹⁶ These are the names of the men Moses sent out to explore the land.
¹⁷ Moses gave the men these instructions as he sent them out to explore the land: “Go north through the Negev into the hill country. ¹⁸ See what the land is like, and find out whether the people living there are strong or weak, few or many. ¹⁹ See what kind of land they live in. Is it good or bad? Do their towns have walls, or are they unprotected like open camps? ²⁰ Is the soil fertile or poor? Are there many trees? Do your best to bring back samples of the crops you see.” (It happened to be the season for harvesting the first ripe grapes.)

²⁵ After exploring the land for forty days, the men returned ²⁶ to Moses, Aaron, and the whole community of Israel at Kadesh in the wilderness of Paran. They reported to the whole community what they had seen and showed them the fruit they had taken from the land. ²⁷ This was their report to Moses: “We entered the land you sent us to explore, and it is indeed a bountiful country—a land flowing with milk and honey. Here is the kind of fruit it produces. ²⁸ But the people living there are powerful, and their towns are large and fortified. We even saw giants there, the descendants of Anak! ²⁹ The Amalekites live in the Negev, and the Hittites, Jebusites, and Amorites live in the hill country. The Canaanites live along the coast of the Mediterranean Sea^[a] and along the Jordan Valley.”
³⁰ But Caleb tried to quiet the people as they stood before Moses. “Let’s go at once to take the land,” he said. “We can certainly conquer it!”
³¹ But the other men who had explored the land with him disagreed. “We can’t go up against them! They are stronger than we are!” ³² So they spread this bad report about the land among the Israelites: “The land we traveled through and explored will devour anyone who goes to live there. All the people we saw were huge. ³³ We even saw giants^[b] there, the descendants of Anak. Next to them we felt like grasshoppers, and that’s what they thought, too!”

In this biblical account we see two different beliefs, and how they directly effected their actions. Caleb believed in God's promise that they would reside in the promised land that they just explored for 40 days. Most would describe what he said to be brave, courageous, and bold.
Then the negative creeps in. The other belief has already accepted defeat before ever trying. I've heard those that believed this described as cowards, weak, and forgetful of God's promise. And because their belief about the outcome of the situation was negative and directly influenced their actions to not enter in, that generation never got to see the promised land, only more wandering in the desert.

Their belief effected their emotions, which effected their report to Moses.


Belief->Emotion->Behavior

Beliefs come from all over, our parents, friends, siblings, church, work, situations, hollywood, doctors, books, magazines, oh! and God. There are many more, but we live off of these. Humans are belief beings.

For Christians, our beliefs should be biblically based because we 'believe' that the bible is the ultimate truth. Yet so many of us are only knowledgeable of it, rather than believing in it. A belief can be defined as an assumption that you hold to be true. Unfortunately, most of our beliefs are developed well before an age of spiritual maturity, apart from truth. Children learn by watching, imitating, and essentially become what they see. If this is developed from family, peer, and media interaction that does not model the truth of Christ, we are growing up independently, only to rely on ourselves. If we don't believe in the truth, we are believing in lies. Either what you believe was developed by God, the Father of Truth, or satan, the father of lies and ruler of the earth we live on.

Complete the following sentences

I would be more successful if......

I would be happier if.....

I could never be happy if....

I could feel more secure if....

I would feel more peaceful if....

Now pick one of those and identify the belief in your answer. Now think about the emotions connected to that, and the actions that follow. See?

I'll do one for you just in case you didn't get it.

I would feel more peaceful if.....I was perfect.

Belief: I'm inadequate, I'll never measure up, I'm not perfect (negative).
Emotions: Anxiety, self-hatred, disappointment, defeated.
Actions: I'm a known over achiever that has literally run myself into the ground countless of times to the point of creating health conditions because I am still trying to achieve perfection....

If our beliefs are not based upon truth, they will most likely be negative.

How do we change that? By the renewing of our minds. "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind..." Romans 12:2
This process of renewal is not about just replacing negatives thoughts with positive ones. It involves relating to God and depending on Him to reveal the lies and teach us what is true. Seems like a daunting task, but it really isn't.

The first step is recognizing the lies you believe and rejecting them. The next part is the most difficult in my opinion, replacing the lies with the truth (God's word) and redirecting our thoughts to reflect our new set of beliefs. I find that the hardest because it takes time and I am extremely hard on myself if I mess up. But you know what, it's ok if you have a mess up. You just have to try your very best, you will get there.

Next time you do something and your wondering why or someone is asking you why, analyze your beliefs. Or maybe you've been feeling the same way about a situation, person, or even yourself for a long time. Write it out, figure out what it is you are believing and how it's effecting your actions, and change it. Do not be defined by lies, they only bring bondage.

"Search me O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way." Psalm 139:23-24

Be Set Apart.

I'll start off this blog by defining what being set apart means to me.

Picture a bag of M&M's. When you dump them all out there are all different colors, but they are all still M&M's. Pick any color, there's the Christians. Pick another color, those are Buddhists. Pick another, Islamic. Pick another, atheists. Etc. But  no matter what, they are all still M&M's. They are all contained in a bag together, and they all taste the same. Just like an M&M, we are suppose to be around others and associate with them. The only difference between us and them, is that we are a certain color and they are another. We aren't better or superior, we are equal, we are chocolate. On the inside, we all struggle with the same things. It's what we choose to do that creates a different outward appearance, sets us apart. It's not a physical placement of being set apart, it's an emotional, spiritual, and decision making set apartness. Because even when you separate all the M&M's by color, they are all still M&M's and they all taste the same. Yet there is a chemical difference in each color in order to get 5 different colors.

This is the chemical make up of unbelievers, those addicted and a slave to sin, pain, and suffering...

^"19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, ²⁰ idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, ²¹ envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God." Galatians 5:19-21

Sounds pretty rough. Check out the make up of a Christian (what we work towards, it doesn't happen over night)

^"22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!" Galatians 5:22-23

I don't know about you, but I would much rather have love, joy, and peace rather than hostility, quarreling, and jealousy. Yet, the first is the hardest to let go of because it's our nature to be that way. It takes a great deal of hard work, heart sifting, and changing to get there. This is how we do it.

"²⁴ Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there." Galatians 5:24

I don't know about you, but that is so powerful.

Now, what does that look like? Lets say you're a Christian and have Christian friends, or non Christian friends. Your friends decide that they want to go to this party where you know everyone is probably going to get trashed. This is where you become set apart and die to your sinful nature to say yes. Anything listed in Galatians 5:19-21 should not be participated in. That is how we are set apart. Not by how much we read our Bibles, how many services we go to, or how much we volunteer at the church. We are set apart by the way we live, and what we choose to participate in. The less you participate in Galatians 5:19-21, the more you will become verses 22 and 23. As a whole, it seems extremely hard. But if you take it decision by decision, moment by moment, day by day, it will become easier and easier and the opportunities to take part in verses 19-21 will become less and less because people will know where you stand. You will still be an M&M, you'll just be a specific colored one.

What do you do when a friend of yours falls into Galatians 5:19-21?

^"1 Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. ² Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. ³ If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important." Galatians 6:1-3

I think Paul said it perfectly. Especially verse 3. That is why I wrote this blog, to clarify that being set apart has nothing to do with being prudish, but everything to do with sin and simply choosing not to take part.

Money

‎"The servant who received 5 bags of silver began to invest the money and earned 5 more. The servant with 2 bags of silver also went to work and earned two more. But the servant who received the one bag of silver dug a hole in the ground and buried the master's money." Matthew 25:19-20 (the first Dave Ramsey plan)

I literally laughed when I first read this story in Matthew 25, because that is what SO many people to with their money. They dig a hole, and burry it, with some of them burying themselves and even their families with it! I don't know that I can be the guy who turned 5 bags into 10, but I can at least be the guy who had 2, saved and worked to have 4. Everyone nods their head and agrees that this is the way to prosperity, but very few ever do it because of our now society. Everything has to be blazing fast, we can get what we want as soon as we want it with credit cards, and because of it we are all impatient. It's sad. But, if we could just have patients and hold of on getting the newest thing,  we would be greatly rewarded.
"To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance." Matthew 25:29
The concept represented in a parable has so much truth. This is what Dave Ramsey is talking about. Quite frankly, most Americans should be grounded because of how irresponsible they have been with money from the get-go. Sure, I'm 20 years old, and yes I really don't know much about investing, saving, and the true expense of having a family and what not, but it's all the same concept right? Don't bite of more than you can chew! There are dollar menu's for a reason people! Yes, it sucks. You won't have the clothes, electronics, experiences, food, house, car like others might. It's a slight discomfort only short lived. Your saving will take you much farther than the newest smart phone and those who experience it say that being secure in your finances is such an awesome feeling. These people can genuinely be happy and not worry! Because they are living within their means and not just surviving paycheck to paycheck. Your savings will only grow if you don't spend it and you can't invest if you don't have anything to begin with, and investing is a proven key to earring more money.
I'm only 20, so I really don't have this stuff down but I am trying so hard to at least be the guy that turned 2 bags of money into 4 so that eventually I can be the guy with 10. Despite the criticism I know that I might get, I'll share my financial plan. First off, I tithe. I give about $200 a month back to God, and not once do I regret it. When I tithe, God provides for me and I always seem to have enough money to fill up my gas tank and pay my bills. When I don't tithe, I'm a frantic stressed out mess. Tithe. Second, I am in college and as many of you know, it's expensive and right where the big debt whole for many people begin. Fortunately, my first two years were all paid in cash. My parents agreed to pay half of my tuition, so I took on the other half and my books. For the remainder of my schooling, they will be unable to do the half thing with me. So far I have been able to save $3000 off my yearly bill by being hired as a residents assistant, and have applied for several scholarships that I am waiting to hear back on. In the mean time, I am trying my absolute best not to spend. However, I do have a self reward system set in place. The way my savings account is set up, when I have 1,000 in it I will be sent a lovely $50 Visa gift card! That is the ONLY way I am going to allow myself to do any shopping right now, which is a huge motivator. Also, I am not going to upgrade my cell phone unless I receive enough scholarships to cover my tuition for the next two semesters or more. Which is very difficult because the wiring is messed up and my screen will turn white with shades of pink and purple or freeze up until I remove the battery. No, it does not have water damage. This is a huge motivator to pray, and pray HARD that I get those scholarships! haha! I do not eat out, unless someone else is paying. I car pull when I can, and I conserve my gas tank. Yeah, it really stinks. But I am so happy! I'm not worried about money any more! I was able to cover my car needing new brakes and rotors no problem recently, when before that would have sent me into a melt down spiral of stress and despair. I have calculated it, and at the rate I am going, I will be able to cover at least one semester in cash. That, feels so much better than a new phone, new shoes, new clothes, a trip to a theme park, concert, road trip, beach, or fine dinning. IT IS WORTH IT! I encourage all my college readers to seriously apply this to their finances. It is so true, when you can handle a little you can handle a lot. You will be given even more for saving and, when the time is right investing. But for now, invest in you. Saving now is investing in your future! You will have so much more freedom. I look at it this way, maybe I'll miss out on a few really cool trips now (A LOT of people I know are going to foreign countries constantly), but after I'm graduated and have no student loans and can use my paychecks to buy a car, house, and save all within the first few years. I can go on a vacation to wherever I want EVERY year, while you are still trying to dig out of your hole (which is impossible by the way because by digging(spending) you are only making it deeper. I suggest saving so you can buy a ladder.)

I have no clue what true expenses are, but I really feel like I'm on the right track and plan on taking some financial planning classes to fill in the blanks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wrote that in the beginning of May. Since then I found out that I did not receive those scholarships, and I have yet to be able to hit $1000 in my savings account. It stinks,  but I have not lost hope. I truly believe more in God's provisions than my fears. I am waiting to hear back from some possible aid from my school, and someone gave me $1000 for my tuition today...Yeah. I started bawlin. lol! God is so good! Even though I was disappointed that I didn't get the scholarships I applied for, I knew God just wanted to really show himself true to me and blow me out of the water. I have always noticed that just when I am disappointed with a situation, God distracts me with the impossible. I absolutely love when He shows off, and I smile knowing that what I was hoping for didn't happen means that He's about to do something huge.